Monday, February 22, 2010

How can I control my life when I can't control my hair?!

The argument that probably is a large reason to why all men think we women are balls to the wall cray-cray: I HATE MY HAIR. I WANT WHAT YOU HAVE!

Myself, I am tortured by having stick straight hair. STICK STRAIGHT PEOPLE. No straighteners, no blow dryers. I can sit with wet hair for an hour or so and what I turn up with when its dry is the STUFF THAT WOMEN WOULD KILL FOR. And yet, I'm mad.

And it took me until today to realize why....

Thanks a lot, you Disney whores.

This would be my dream design-school hair. Right color, right mix of spunk and polish. And up and out of my way. However, my attempts at this are nothing short of hilarious.

Braids? I can only dream! My poor little weakling arms want to give up halfway through and I am such a sucker I let them.

This looks so simple! And so pretty! So why whenever I try something like this does it look like I've been mauled by a pack of rabid raccoons? WHY LORD?

Pfft now youre just showing off. Everyone knows that things look better in black and white. I'm on to you hair-photographer.

Ahhh hello perfect red. Well.... a little too hyper for my taste now but I'm always jealous of girls that have the time for this type of color upkeep.

Big gorgeous curls? HA! You tease! Trying to curl stick straight hair is fighting a losing battle my friend. Save your time, your money, and your tears and just quit now. This will never be you [me].

Don't even think about beach hair lady. You dont want to end up hurting yourself.

I may or may not have had a bad hair day that spurred this. Thats what I get for sleeping with my hair in two japanese top knots. Whooooops. ANGRY HAIR

1 comment:

  1. you forgot to kvetch about how thin each whisp is. It would take five of our ponytails to be as chunky as Rahrah's one. And yes, she got all the hair bonuses in the family. What can I say - they didn't ask me!!!